


(Decidedly Not) Playing the Field

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-07
Updated: 2008-02-07
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: “You can tell Harry–and Hermione, and anyone else who would be turned on by the two of us being together–to sod off.”�// Eight more people Ginny Weasley never slept with; crack!fic sequel to 'Pure by Choice'.





	(Decidedly Not) Playing the Field

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

(decidedly not)playing the field

eight _more_ people **ginny weasley** never _slept with_ (and it’s starting to get creepy) 

\--

“But every-von likes Quidditch players!”

“Sure. But not you.”

“Vhy not?”

“For one, I don’t take Hermione’s sloppy seconds. For another… your nose."

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

\--

“I can’t be with you, Dean.”

“What? Why not?”

“You see… you’re just a background character.”

“So are you!”

“I _won’t_ be once we break up.”

“You’re a bitch.”

“At least people will remember me.”

\--

“This whole time-turner business is insane…”

“Hey, Evans—wait, who are _you?_ ”

“ _Whoa_. You look just like Harry…”

“I don’t know who Harry is, but I know I like redheads, and you’re pretty cute. How would you like to—”

“This is just _way_ too weird.”

“I know, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here, why don’t we go figure things out over a butterbeer?”

“Thanks, but no thanks, James. I’ve got to go to… well, I’ve just got to go, see you around.”

“Wait. When did I tell you my name?”

“Goodbye!”

\--

“Ow.”

“Sorry.”

“ _Ow._ That’s my _foot!_ ”

“Sorry…”

“OW! Neville!”

“Sorry! Ugh… really, I am.”

“Alright.”

“Say… do you want to just give up on this and go back to my dormitory?”

“If you’re anything in bed like you are on the dance floor, then _no._ ”

“Oh…”

“Yeah.”

\--

“D.A. meeting tomorrow night, Creevey. Don’t forget.”

“Oh, thanks."

"No problem."

"Hey, will you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”

“No.”

“I think you’re really pretty.”

“Thanks, but no.”

“Well, can I at least take your picture?”

“Creepy. No.”

\--

“No way in hell.”

“Oh, come on, Ginny…”

“You _can’t_ be serious.”

“Er… Hermione wants us to. She thinks… well… it’s a turn-on for her, see.”

“That doesn’t make a bloody difference. There is _no_ reason I would ever—”

“Harry’s rather turned on by the idea as well.”

“… _this_ is what you talked about while you were off hunting Horcruxes?!”

“Well…”

“Forget it, Ronald. We took _baths_ together. I am not going to—”

“Even if Harry wanted you to?”

“You can tell Harry—and Hermione, and anyone else who would be _turned on_ by the two of us being _together—_ to _sod off_.”

\--

“Okay, that was _way_ too many turns, I am _not_ messing with this thing anymore.”

“Hello, miss. What’s your name?”

“Er... Ginny. What’s yours?”

“Gellert.”

“You’re… kinda attractive, Gellert.”

“Sorry, I’m, ah, already involved with someone.”

“Oh. Who?”

“His name is Albus Dumbledore."

“Right, then, I’ll be leaving now.”

\--

_Oh, Tom, you’re the only one who’s ever really understood me, and—_

**I need you to terrorize your schoolmates and become a tool of evil, then I’m going to kill you so that I can come back to life and rule the world.**

_—I hate you._

_\--_


End file.
